A Spectrum of Rape

The first time I masturbated, it was late at night, and I did not feel sure of whether I had actually done it or not. No fantasies, no porn, just me whacking of in the dead of night. I felt a strange sensation, reverberating from my crotch upwards to my stomach, but it was hardly pleasurable. In fact, that first time the sensation I felt was more painful and sickening than anything else, almost like an upset stomach. Was this really masturbation?

Little boys masturbate by the time they hit fourth grade, or fifth, if they are late bloomers, nowadays. I was a really late bloomer, and didn't do the deed until I was in sixth grade. Still, after a few whack jobs the pleasure of choking the chicken dies down. That's where porn comes in. Porn objectifies women, treats them like sexual objects, which is the perfect method to keep the pleasure level in the green. Submission, bondage, xxx, the hardcore stuff is nothing more than fodder for keeping masturbation a quickie, so the young man can turn his attention to other things and not be bothered by all those sluts in the movies.

Some people have objections to porn, saying it is evil, and wrong, and sick. No qualms there. women in porn are shamelessly mistreated, but they are well paid, so that makes up for it. Besides, those same people make the mistake of thinking humanity good and right and healthy. Bullshit. Sex is an act of pleasure, and like any act of pleasure, needs to get interesting or it gets boring. The intimacy of sex just gets in the way, when a man really needs some fucking so he can get back to better, more important things.

And then. I browsed the web, looking for hentai of a particular sort. A manga of mine, which has a good story and intersting characters, I thought, might be interesting to see as a hentai doujinshii. And so I put it in to Ask.com: "'Hikaru No Go' Hentai".

I found two short mangas. The first had Nase in lustful union with tsubaki: a daring submission peice where nase willingly does all sorts of raunchy acts. That's interesting, I think, considering Tsubaki and Nase's relationship in the actual manga.

Well, I had the misfortune of clicking upon the second doujinshii, which showed akari fujisaki being fucked by Kaga and Kimihiro Tutsui. Before I continue, let me say this: In all hentai there is an unspoken rule, assumption, which no one dares to challenge. The girls in the sex dungeons and bondage, somehow someway actual get some sense of pleasure from the sickening anal beads and tentacles coming all over their face. They do. The girls experience discomfort, they experience pain, but the pain is always slightly orgasmic to them; they like it.

Akari fujisaki did not like it. Label me an otaku if you must, but I know akari almost as well as a real person, and in the manga she does have a small crush on a boy her age named Hikaru Shindo. Akari is trusting, kind, and innocent. When Kaga and Tutsui come in to the room, she has no idea of their intentions, in fact, she sets up to gobans like she usually does, ready to play a game. Suddenly, the two of them grab her. She cries out in suprise as they strip off her clothes and procceed to fuck her every nook and cranny. OK, this is usually what happens in hentai, but there were two scenes in this that changed all that. When kaga comes all over her face, Akari pulls away, feeling the sticky goo with her fingers, and pulls the cum in front of her eyes. As she stares, an expression comes over her face; it slowly dawns that she is just an object of these two boys desires. She is just a slut.

And then, when the two boys have their way with her, they leave her, slumped down by the wall. Her clothes are ripped and torn and her body is covered with warm cum, all over her face and pussy and chest. She doesn't get up. She doesn't pick up her torn clothes. She just sits there, and stares off into the distance.

Now tell me, my good self: If sex is just a whack job, a fucking of women and merging of fluids, and damn the intimacy to hell, then why do I suddenly feel this cold chill down my spine, and suddenly care so much?

I feel more affected by that hentai than anything else, so that the question remains. Is sex something that should be entertaining and pleasurable? Maybe fantasy is better than regular sex. It certainly beats just fucking a girl that just lays there. But maybe, just maybe, a true loving relationship is one without sex at all.